A Simple but Reliable Sign of Personal Maturity

I just finished a coaching class at the iNLP Center. What a privilege it was to coach a mature person.

How did I know he was mature?

It wasn’t his chronological age. When I asked him questions (life coaches love to ask questions) about what issue he wanted to address in our coaching session, he responded as follows:

My wife and I have been arguing more than usual lately. I want to take a look at my part in the fighting and take steps to go about things differently.

Bravo! I want to take a look at my part. That’s a sign of maturity. You take responsibility for your own actions and feelings. Done.

Of course, when a couple is arguing, both parties share responsibility. A less mature person, however, might start the session like this:

My wife knows just how to push my buttons and I need to get her to stop.

That’s less mature but it’s still 100% normal. Who among us hasn’t longed for others to stop doing things that bug us? Still, in life coaching, the only path forward is for the client to own his or her part and desire to go about things in a new, more productive way.

This client made the coaching easy by allowing us to skip the process of encouraging ownership of the problem. He already owned it.

Are you mature?

No one is 100% mature all of the time. How mature are you in the areas of life that are problematic for you? Save yourself time and expense by sitting down and owning your part in every relationship problem you have.

That might revolutionize your life. It will certainly eliminate much of your suffering.

But it raises a more interesting question as well: What Are you Afraid to See About Yourself?